How to Stop Worrying & Take Control of Your Life
How to stop worrying and take control of your life? Taking control of your life involves taking responsibility for yourself and any aspect of your life. This involves staying associated with your beliefs and dream and giving yourself valuable objectives. You get more successful and more confident as you take control of your life.
For many of us, the pace of life has accelerated to a level where we can’t fully adapt.
We exist in a buzz of worry that we’re not doing what we’re meant to do, and the anxiety we feel, in turn, makes it difficult to get things done, creating a spiral of inaction. What we need is more agency: the ability to cut through all of what pulls at us, find emotional and physical balance, think more clearly, and advocate for ourselves so we can take a course of action that makes sense.
Why worry about things you can’t control when you can keep yourself busy controlling the things that depend on you?
One minute your life is normal. You carry on not giving a thought to what may be. You are the master of your destiny. Then something beyond your control happens — your world gets all shook up. You have no control over the event specific to you, but you do have the power to decide how to deal with it.
It’s easy to feel stuck. To feel like there’s no way out of your situation. That life is just something that happens to you, rather than for you, or by you.
Taking control of your life may seem like an unfathomable mystery, but actually the steps to making it happen are simple and straightforward — if you’re prepared to have an open mind and do the work. And if you are, and you’re ready to let go of the things that are holding you back and step up to life, you’ll find that life will step up to meet you.
Although we live in a complicated world filled with uncertainty, there are things you can do to take control of your life.
If you take a few easy steps, life will definitely improve. On that note, here are some points that should help you to stop worrying and take control of your life. The following seven tips will help you take the control of your life when dealing with an earthshaking event.
Step #1: Acknowledge Your Situation
Anytime your plans are thwarted, practice acceptance. Acceptance is perceiving an experience and acknowledging it, without judgment or resistance. After all, judging or resisting an event or situation won’t change it, and it won’t help you to deal with it. It will simply cause you suffering.
Take control of your life by practicing acceptance. Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation.
Once you’ve accepted something, you’re no longer wasting your time and energy negating it, or fighting against it. Instead, you’ve put yourself in the best possible position to begin planning your next move, so you can begin to influence the event or situation.
When you arm yourself with the information of where you are right now, you’re already one step closer to being somewhere better.
It can be frightening at first, but you’ll find it liberating when you get to grips with exactly where you are — and it might not even be as bad as you feared. Knowledge is power, and you can’t fix things if you don’t understand what’s going on. So, if you’re in debt, find out exactly how much debt. Get a good picture of your income and your outgoings. This will form the foundation of being able to fix the problem.
Know your strengths and limitations, and embrace them. Express yourself compassion. Consider not just the positive but also the poor.
Always focus on improving the things that you don’t like or fail with. Understand why you are doing what you are doing, then forgive. Self-reflection is constructive and safe. Self-criticism and getting upset are inefficient behaviors that do more harm than good, so remember that if you catch yourself in one of these patterns, there are productive ways you can do things.
As ironic as it sounds, learning how to take control of your life requires acceptance of the present. This doesn’t mean settling for the status quo or pretending you are fulfilled when you’re not.
To take control of your life, you must first appreciate what your current situation is trying to teach you. Instead of resisting life’s difficult lessons, embrace them. Your path to fulfillment is much like the martial art of jiu jitsu, where fluid movement is far more effective at softening blows from your opponent than is fighting back. When you go with the flow and embrace curiosity, you’re not distracted by your frustrations and can see new possibilities.
The next step in this process is accepting who you are. You’re not perfect. No one is.
Allow yourself to let past mistakes go. If a bad past decision comes into your mind during the night, remind yourself of the present. Be thankful that the mistake happened so you could learn from it. This will help you begin the process of letting go. Find love for everything you are. If there’s a part of you that you find entirely unacceptable, be grateful that you have the drive to fix it.
Step #2: Welcome The Now
If you take small steps regularly, you will be able to achieve your goal soon enough. All you need to do is have faith to begin a nice way and the minimum that you can. Baby step your way and well begun is going to be half done. You can also be in control if you focus on the little detail instead of a big plan all at once.
When you hit what you think is a breaking point, don’t resist it, but embrace it.
Walk right into it. Often these moments are occurring precisely to illuminate what you’re missing in your life, and what you deeply long for. When you learn to embrace rather than fight the lessons these challenging moments are trying to teach you, suddenly a new path becomes clearer and more possible than ever before.
The only place you’re supposed to be right now is in your life, and the only way you’re going to pivot and achieve these goals is by laying the small blocks, one at a time.
The reality is that you have so much time and it doesn’t feel like it because you’re racing through every single day and you’re on edge because of the fear that you’re not where you’re supposed to be. Be present and be satisfied with where you’re at while intentionally pivoting towards something else. Adapt practice that will help you to slow down, so you’re not running on stress-energy all day.
When something doesn’t go as planned, simply assess the situation, and then come up with a different plan. That is, adapt.
Even when the things that you thought would happen don’t happen, there are steps you can take to influence what happens next. Start generating alternatives, evaluate those alternatives, pick one, and get to work on carrying it out.
Don’t escape from the window when an opportunity knocks on your door, rather, embrace it.
Have intuitions and trust them regarding all the decisions you have to take. You might not have time to do snorkeling, but if in case your mind is telling you that you do need a break then, step up to it. Don’t let life plan out all your wishes, but give your best to accomplish your desires. They are the ones which make you feel alive.
The problem with us humans is that we’re trained to focus on our problems, on everything that’s missing in our lives and everything that’s going wrong.
But with a gratitude practice, we can begin to reprogram ourselves to start shifting our perspective from everything that’s lacking in our lives, to the abundance of wealth in all areas of our day. From the person who smiled at us when we held the door for them to the birds singing in the trees, we can find ourselves surround by so much goodness it can be hard to believe we never noticed it before.
Step #3: Roads are Bumpy
If there is anything that you fear and it is holding you back, you should let go of it. You need to take a step forward and get rid of all ghosts hovering around you. How can you attain success if you still inhibit doubts in your credibility or doubts that you won’t be able to achieve your goal? Thus, stay optimistic and fight all the demons in your head.
Limiting yourself in fear of what you can’t control will do you no good. Appreciate the adventure of not knowing what might happen next.
By considering your earth-shattering event an adventure, you become a contender, no longer a victim holding yourself back. You regain control and are better prepared to find ways to get through it. Sometimes you need to accept that there are forces larger than you at play. Accepting that you simply cannot control everything is an integral part of dealing with difficulties.
What was the scariest thing you’ve done? Your first kiss? Pretty scary but you probably accepted the challenge and just went ahead and did it anyway.
Once you’d done it once you knew you could do it and were now ready to accomplish something else. This is exactly the fear you’ll be facing by deciding to take control of your life. It seems scary and overwhelming at first but as soon as you even take the littlest of steps towards facing the fear, you’ll suddenly know it’s no big deal and you can do it.
If you think happiness comes to you on its own, you are quite wrong.
Gone are the teenage years when this made sense because at that time we had no responsibilities nor we had a single care about the world. But once we start living by ourselves, we realize it isn’t easy to be happy all the time. Feeling happy is a state of mind, and it can be achieved if you work for it. Indulge in activities that you love to do and find where you belong.
Always remember that everyone is flawed and that people make mistakes. It is very natural to do something foolish and silly.
So don’t feel embarrassed and afraid of something like that. Dwelling on the wrong things you might have done will ruin your happiness and stop you from being the happiest person that you want to. So learn to accept yourself just the way you are and make sure the enjoyment and happiness in your life has increased. It will surely take you a long way.
More and more I’ve come to realize the importance of the stories that we tell ourselves about what’s going on around us.
After all, what happens in the outside world isn’t really what matters. Instead, what matters is what we choose to tell ourselves about what happened. Take control of your life by keeping in mind that just because things veered off course, that doesn’t mean the story is over. The story can still have a happy ending, depending on what you choose to do next.
Step #4: Choose Your Surroundings Wisely
Connecting with people can never be a wrong thing to do. People who have good relationships always tend to be happier and stronger than those who do not. Our relations with people around us can definitely help us feel loved and find some kind of solace and support.
It is very important for us to take actions, strengthen our relationships and even make new connections.
In this case, you can do something like spending more time with those in your life who matter more to you. Speak to an old friend, call your parents and let them know how eager you are to hear their voice. Also speak to three new people every day. You can stop at a shop and chat with a person you haven’t known all that well.
Surround yourself with those who encourage you to reach your full potential, nurture your talents, affirm your values and difficult decisions, and give you a reality check when you are stuck in negative thinking.
You can also get involved with your community through volunteering or just chatting with local merchants or neighbors. These positive social interactions will improve your state of mind and physical health, two critical building blocks of agency. It’s impossible not to be affected by those around us — it’s easy to catch their emotions, and our brains tend to synch up when we associate with other people.
Stop taking it personally when someone else achieves something that you haven’t. It’s not a reflection on your life, it’s a reflection of their life.
Let it go. Stop caring. As long as you’re hanging your happiness on the lives and actions of other people, you’ll always be unhappy. So, learn to celebrate other people’s successes as you would hope they would celebrate yours, and get on with living your life. What you do is about you — everything else, isn’t.
There are some who will like you no matter what and there will be those who won’t.
It is best not to run behind the latter as it is only going to waste your time. Be with those who like you enough as it will be good for your self-esteem as well. With their help, you can be stronger and then, all those who never appreciated you might come back to you and if they don’t, you won’t even care about it.
Limit especially your involvement with those who insist that you live in their shadow rather than shine on your own.
This is not a hard thing to recognize since there is usually nothing subtle about other people trying to organize your life around theirs and their agenda. As a corollary, don’t undertake anything that serves the good of someone else when it’s at your expense or hardship.
Step #5: Pick Your Battles
There are too many distractions around. You should be saving time and actively choose to stay engaged in one task rather than getting distracted by a mobile game, TV, Facebook or text message.
Most of us have a passion — something we love and it pushes us to be productive.
If nothing stands in your path, talk of what you’d like to do in life. If you don’t recognize, then you’ll need to write down the things you love doing that would make you happy. Remember what drives you, your skills and your abilities.
Passion is what you feel inside about what you’re doing, and you can do things to increase the amount of energy you feel in your life.
Passion begins inside by curiosity, by exploring the things and pursuing the path that energizes us. It’s about what you’re learning, how you’re growing and how you’re feeling along the way, as you march in the direction of the thing that is tugging at your heart.
People with low agency experience common impediments when trying to make sound decisions.
They may procrastinate, obsess over details, or worry excessively during the process; they may lack confidence and be risk-averse; or their thinking may be too fast and they act on impulse. Taking action doesn’t require 100 percent certainty. Higher-agency people will start to act if they are 80 percent sure or more. So, don’t over-deliberate before acting. You can always reassess later if need be.
You will need to be able to make decisions and adhere to them to have full control of your life. Some will be insignificant, others more important, but all need to be addressed head-on.
Don’t control your passions. Control your decisions. And when you feel scared, just say, “Courage, dear heart!” because indecision steals life. Once you’ve gotten into the habit, it’s going to become second nature, and you’re going to be amazed at how the experience might feel. You will also find the difference noted by those around you, as you become more focused and purposeful in all areas of your life.
Passion is personal, but fights are usually won by being able to stand back and be objective about the odds.
When you pick your fights you need to assess the potential cost of losing, or at the very least, of winning taking a long time. As you work through this you need to reassess your position. The world needs people to stand up and be counted, in business and in life. Some fights are truly worth engaging in — just pick your fights carefully, with an eye to success.
Step #6: Take It Easy
You’ll be amazed at what a difference it will make in your life simply by changing your thoughts. You’ll be blown away by how much energy you suddenly have and how much joy you suddenly have for life. You’ll suddenly be having the best time of your life simply because you have made the decision to live life instead of waiting for life.
Just keep things simple and clear.
If you make things complicated then you would probably get lost in the lost details which could make you disheartened and lose hope. Even if you have a hard problem, often it’s an easy solution that will give you the answers you’re looking for.
You can get better at using intuition to inform your decision-making if you learn to quiet your mind, develop a greater awareness of what you’re thinking and feeling, and listen to your body.
Think of intuition as deep inner knowledge that is comprised of millions of data points that our brains have observed over the course of our lives. When used wisely, it can be a tremendous boost to our creativity and help us make important decisions, thereby increasing our level of agency.
With a little bit of work, we can control what we think, how we act, how we feel, and how we interact and respond to the world around us.
There are lots of things in life that are beyond our influence, yet we attach so much importance to trying to control these things that we become frustrated, bitter, angry and upset. We convince ourselves that bad things always happen to us, and that life is so unfair.
Turning your inner voice from demon to angel requires prolonged and conscious effort… it’s not something you can fix overnight.
Your inner voice is one of the few things in life you can have 100% control over. You don’t have to keep having that same old one-way conversation that drags you down, holds you back, and makes you feel like shit. You have a choice: to acknowledge the darkness, but then let the light in.
Step #7: Reboot
Increasing your awareness of how your emotions and beliefs drive your thinking, influence your behavior, and affect your judgment will help you navigate life with greater confidence. While uncovering these inner thoughts and emotions may take effort, being more self-reflective helps you keep grounded by slowing down your thinking process.
Your beliefs are the colored glasses through which you see the world. You interpret everything around you through those lenses.
Whatever you believe to be true only seems that way because your subconscious mind goes out of its way to find evidence to support those ingrained beliefs. At the same time, it actively avoids or tries to disprove any evidence to the contrary. The fact is you CAN change your beliefs. And when you change your beliefs, your thoughts will change which will cause your actions to change. Different actions lead to different results.
The key here is to strive to live in alignment with your true beliefs and values.
We can all be persuaded to act in a manner that may be incongruent, especially when we’re influenced by peer pressure, or the myriad belief and behavior systems that we’ve downloaded from our parents, peers and our society setting. To live consciously means to be constantly monitoring whether these beliefs and patterns even fit us anymore, and if not change them. Listen to that inner, intuitive voice — it will guide you towards a life of alignment.
Beliefs are the truths people hold on to and guide their lives by.
The power of belief can trap you, as in the belief that you deserve only a limited amount of happiness. Some beliefs are self-defeating beliefs that can weigh you down and anchor you to a disappointing life. Other beliefs will free you to rise like a balloon to unimaginable heights of possibility and joy.
The main thing to realize is that we are not our thoughts and we can CHOOSE the ones we allow to bring in.
It may not always feel like this, but there are a million little ideas buzzing around us all the time, and we have the power to choose which ones we focus on. Beliefs come from years of social conditioning and are rooted deep within the subconscious. This is what makes them so difficult to change, so please be kind to yourself and others in the process of transcendence.
Earthshaking events will continue to happen in our lives; we have no control over that. But we do have the ability to control how we respond. While in the midst of such an event it may seem hopeless and unbeatable but you can do it.
So, what are you waiting for? Change your attitude. Start working towards your new positive life.
Go get it. It’s yours, it’s waiting for you to make the first move. Take that first step and you’ll never look back. Everything you’ve ever wanted can be yours and all you have to do is change your thoughts and take control of your life.
Making the transition to living consciously will cause an immediate change, and its effects on your life will be longstanding and powerful.
You only have one lifetime, so don’t waste it on unnecessary or harmful behaviors. If you can truly listen to yourself and also practice compassion for yourself and others, you will begin living life more consciously and joyfully — and you’ll never turn back.
The reason it seems so hard to get unstuck is because, believe it or not, it’s easy to take comfort in the familiarity of our unhappiness.
If you step up to life, life will step up to meet you. Sometimes that means facing difficult truths about your bad habits, or that perhaps you need to let go the dreams you’re so desperately holding on to, but which are holding you back and causing you unhappiness.
Yes, it takes work and it takes time, but not as much of either as you think. You really have nothing to lose, other than that sense of being stuff. So, what’s stopping you?
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