Five Essential Rules You Can’t Afford To Ignore For Becoming A Total Kick Ass Girl Boss
You may ask: What defines a girl boss in 2021? Well, in my eyes, a girl boss is a woman that’s kind, independent, wise, inspirational, confident, hard-working, and motivated. Basically, she is determined to absolutely smash it in all aspects of life. The point is that there are rules you can’t afford to ignore for becoming a kick ass girl boss!
Girl Bosses: We all know them. We all love them. We all secretly (and not-so-secretly) want to be them.
It’s a way of life for some, and for others, it’s a baller hashtag to use after crushing a day at the office. With a millennial culture geared towards encouraging women to reach higher and push harder, the “dream” of becoming a total kick ass girl boss is now more attainable than ever.
Women face many challenges in the professional world.
Non-equal pay, being looked over for promotion, and fighting a constant “boys club” culture are just a few things women have to encounter throughout their careers. Fortunately, many women are standing up and taking control of their own destiny. In today’s society, we have a whole generation of “girl bosses”. A girl boss can be an entrepreneur, a corporate employee, or even a student. Whatever it is you’re pursuing, you can be a girl boss within that realm.
Being a kickass girl boss can be intimating to some….but also has become the definition of strength and drive in 2021.
The world has changed and grown because of the confidence that women have projected into and onto society. Lady Di made sure to remind us that self-love is more important than a title. Elle Woods reminded us that anything is possible if you work hard enough. Rosa Parks taught us to always stand up for what you believe in.
In other words as Beyoncé once said: Who runs the world? Girls!
But let’s be honest, unleashing your inner girl boss isn’t easy and sometimes you may need a little guidance along the way. So, I’m here to help! It’s time to follow our five rules to becoming the kick ass girl boss you’ve always wanted to be!
Rule #1: You Do You
Whether it’s in friendship, a relationship or your career, it’s important to set personal boundaries. Always define what you want and what you will not allow. Girls don’t know how to utilize their voices and say what’s on their minds. They are intimidated and worried they will be unable to express themselves properly, or that they will only be able to convey their emotions by being passive-aggressive.
Never be afraid to speak up, as anything worth having takes effort.
Anything lost by voicing your opinion was never worth having to begin with. Women are confident enough to know how to tactfully state their positions and discuss what their desired end result is, along with intelligent ideas on how to achieve said results. You are the only you in the world so own it girl. Make your strengths (and weaknesses) work for you and your own business.
Those who try to imitate others will never achieve true happiness. Know when and how to insert yourself.
Girls feel threatened by the success or happiness of others, and feel the need to measure up and compare. Look in the mirror, and be proud of who you are and how far you’ve come. Learn to feel comfortable in your own skin. Have your own definition of what success and happiness means to you, and strive to be a better person every day. You don’t have to put your foot down on every single issue, but you can’t let everything slide either. There is a balance, and you must find it. However, your opinion is valuable on a large and small scale. Let your voice be heard.
It is extremely crucial to respect yourself…and that includes your body and mind. You are your first priority ALWAYS.
Realize the woman you are by looking in the mirror. You got yourself up and working. Wake-up. Make-up. And then conquer the world. We’re constantly being subjected to what the perfect woman is: sexy, smart, stays quiet, always speaks her mind, perfect stay-at-home mom to ten kids, and all of this stuffed into a 25-inch waist and DD chest size. But that isn’t real life. Be proud of everything you are because you’re a badass girl boss every single day.
You are number one. If you don’t love and care for yourself, you’ll never find happiness in the goals you achieve.
Because every achieved goal begins with you. You have to stay more focused on yourself than you have ever been before — no serious or negative distractions. Always do what’s best for you, even if it’s something simple like staying in on a Saturday night just so you can be productive on a Sunday. “What the hell!!! Productive…. on a Sunday?!?” …yes. Welcome to the boss life, girl. Take the necessary precautions to ensure a healthy mind as well: yoga, meditation, and the like.
Rule #2: Go Get It
Everyone has their own grind or way of doing things, but personally I believe in doing all things with 100% effort and in the most efficient way possible. In other words, get $h!+ done! But do it well. Wake up early, prepare for the day, get yourself together, and literally grind.
To be a #GIRLBOSS you have to dream bigger and bigger every single day.
When you achieve one dream you simply dream up another dream. Life is nothing if we are not actively trying to achieve something. Sure, some days are slower than others, but for the most part, girl bosses are usually killing it 24/7. Everyone knows THAT girl… yeah, be her. What are you really, truly passionate about? When you get up in the morning, what gets you out of bed? Think about what you love to do. What doesn’t feel like work? Really dive in and think about all that. Write it down. Define it. Then, make a plan and go all in.
Learn how to be confident in your abilities. Your ideas, wants, and drive is not stupid or unworthy.
Whatever you find what drives you, what you love, and what you are passionate about, is where you should put your effort. There is a balance between working your way up to what you want, as many people start at the bottom and have to earn their titles, however, life is too short to be doing something that you don’t love and you aren’t passionate about. Run with those ideas and create a life that you are excited to wake up and start every single day. You’d be surprised how easy-going your life can turn out to be when you take charge of things you’re passionate about.
Stay focused on your big goals and not so much on the little hiccups along the way. Whatever it is, dust yourself off and try again.
We have no time to dwell on the minor things in life! A girl boss knows when to throw punches and when to roll with them. Don’t be scared to step up and take the reigns. It shows confidence, a good work ethic, and maturity. Don’t take on more responsibility than you can handle, but volunteer, and do it often. Girl bosses can handle just about anything, and once you start taking initiative on things that others may choose to pass up, your girlboss-ness will show for sure.
Yes, we all make mistakes and we learn from them. But as long as you do learn from it, do not take the endgame personally.
A million dominos have to fall before and after you until it actually falls into your control. Sometimes people have bad days, sometimes you are the unlucky person in the unlucky spot. Someone else’s stress and disrespect does not represent who you are as a person so do not let someone’s bad day define what amazing qualities you bring to the table daily. You cannot control everyone else. You can only control how you respond to everyone else. You are a girl boss and a girl boss does not take things too personally…they know their value.
Rule #3: Don't Dwell on The Past
Don’t let setbacks keep you from making your business better. Never let other people’s opinions stop you, as they will only prevent you from achieving your goals. So why lose sleep over it? If an item that you perhaps thought was the one, and one that you thought would give you a large return on your investment, but just didn’t sell — get over it & move onto the next big thing.
It’s a hard fact that all — literally ALL — successful people have suffered failure at some point along their paths. Why would you be any different?
Don’t hold yourself back. Life has so much to offer, and you’ll miss out on most of it if you don’t let yourself. That said, we can learn from the past, so it’s important to make mistakes and take the knowledge we’ve learned from said mistakes and apply it to the present. Your past serves as a reminder of what you’re working toward: becoming the best version of you. So learn from it.
Your past serves as a reminder of what you’re working toward….The future is what you are going to be.
Learn from the past but do not stay in the past. You are never going to change what happened or what could have happened if you did this or that. You can sit all day beating yourself up in order to hope you went right instead of left, however you can’t change it. The future is what you can get ready for and change if you want to. The future is what you should focus on because that is where your light can shine. Mistakes stay in the past and girl bosses move forward. A girl boss is always looking for the opportunity to move forward and she’s focusing on what lies ahead, not what sits behind.
Girl bosses move forward. Mistakes made in the past stay there.
Okay, so you lost a job a year ago, and that probably really sucked. But you’re the you now that isn’t going to lose a job, that isn’t going to make the same mistakes you’ve made before. A girl boss is always looking for the opportunity to move forward and she’s focusing on what lies ahead, not what sits behind. Before starting your business, establish your success markers — these can be anything from financial goals to product offerings to followers on social media. Move from one challenge to the next and take the time to celebrate those victories, while knowing that with each success comes a new challenge and a new thing you may have no idea how to do.
Stop putting yourself down and start pulling yourself up. Girl bosses never apologize.
Being a 20-something can be so difficult because, while you’re an adult, you’re still extremely young and very easily influenced. It’s so easy to look around at the world and be like, “wow, she’s perfect, why am I not like that?” Okay, well, here is the deal, girls — while you’re too busy asking yourself those questions and feeling bad for yourself, a true girl boss is way too busy for wasting time by thinking like that. Instead, everyday she’s doing something to make herself better in all ways! Own your space!
Rule #4: Jealousy Is Ugly
This is a quote from the true girl boss herself, Sophia Amoruso, founder of Nasty Gal and author of the book “#Girlboss.” If you ask me, truer words have not been spoken. While there are so many upsides to social media, it can also be a constant source of comparison when it comes to building a business”.
It’s really hard to be on social media and not compare yourself to others.
Your body isn’t good enough, your wardrobe isn’t trendy enough, and your house isn’t Pottery-Barn enough. It might even make you feel like you aren’t enough. But comparisons steal our joy, our paychecks and our sanity. If we don’t stop comparing ourselves to others, we will constantly spend money and mental energy just trying to keep up! We need to break the comparison cycle because it’s a game we’ll never win. When we focus on other people, we lose time that we could otherwise invest in ourselves. We don’t grow green grass by focusing on our neighbor’s garden, we do it nurturing our own. So, instead of wasting time comparing your path to someone else’s, spend it investing, creating, and caring for your own.
Focus on the quality of your life, not the quantity of your likes.
If you’re struggling to appreciate the blessings in your life, and if you’re constantly distracted by the blessings of other people, it may be time to put some serious blinders on for a little while. Constantly comparing ourselves to others leads to us not cheering on the people who are working hard to get somewhere. And it makes it hard to celebrate with the ones who’ve accomplished something!
Let’s face it: We most often compare the wrong things.
Because we can most easily compare the things that we can objectively measure, we live in a world that is great at measuring and comparing externals. Somewhere along the way, we decided that we could determine who is living a more valuable life by comparing clothes, cars, homes, paychecks, beauty, or Twitter followers. But externals are rarely a good measure. Net-worth has never been a good indicator of self-worth.
It is so easy to get led astray by expectations we have for ourselves when these expectations are based on comparing ourselves to others.
Let me break that down. If your friend has just graduated from college and she’s already been offered a kickass job, be happy for her. But don’t get caught in the trap of comparing yourself to her. You’re probably not in the exact same spot as she’s in, and that’s okay. Everyone is on her own path, doing her own thing. Embrace your personal journey, but don’t ruin your own accomplishments by comparing them to others. You’ll be a better friend and a better you.
Rule #5: Dress For Success
Every girl feels most confident when they’re wearing an outfit they love and feel comfortable in. Most 20-somethings are what I like to call “balling on a budget”, but that is no excuse to give up on your appearance. Wearing a killer outfit can help you feel better about yourself, which translates to more positive actions during the workday with your coworkers and clients. On the other hand, it’s hard to feel like a million bucks when you haven’t showered in days and threw on a random outfit in the dark because you were late for work.
Fake it ‘till you make it. Dress up.
Even if it’s just to your 10am Psychology class, don’t dress like a total slob. Be the girl that people look at and think, “dang it, that chick always has it together”. Fun fact: those are the people that probably don’t and/or won’t like you, but since you’re such a girl boss, you probably don’t care. BTW, it doesn’t mean literally be fake, but it means that, even when you don’t exactly have it all together just yet, act like you do. Everyone knows that when you’re 20-something, you’re usually in the process of actually getting it together and making your way, but if you come off like a total mess while doing so, no one is going to take you seriously. So repeat after me: Fake it. ‘Till you make it.
Mark Twain knows what’s up: “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.”
A.k.a. get the hell out of your PJs, even if you call your living room your office because dressing the part makes you act the part. Not only does dressing well boost your confidence but it also projects a great impression. Seriously, though, it’s all backed by science. Here’s a little secret: no one is perfect. But thanks to beauty enhancements, flawless is pretty easy to fake. You know because you’ve certainly tried it all, from faking abs with a fake tan to false lashes, remember?
You’ve heard it before — dress for the job you want.
And while Mark Zuckerberg may get away with wearing the same outfit every single day, we believe in power-dressing. The basis for an ultimate girl boss look is a power suit. The trick to making a suit look like a power-suit is all about the fit. Make sure your suit fits you like a glove. Associate it with you killer shoes. Marilyn Monroe said it best — “Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world!“. Heels not only improve your posture, they also make you walk tall and feel great about yourself. Make sure to pick heels that are comfortable and don’t compromise on style.
You need to be prepared in order to stay one step ahead.
A girl boss is always on top of her game. Besides, exercise is proven to boost a persons confidence. When you’re physically fit, your self-esteem is boosted to another level. Make sure you have a healthy workout that gets your heart pumping. Take care and be confident in your health and the body you’ve got. Ensure that everything you’re doing is working towards bettering yourself. True confidence is knowing and being sure of yourself and your work. Be the girl boss you are and get the skills and the body you need to reach the heights of success.
Being a classy, empowered woman is about more than just your age: It is how you carry and present yourself to the outside world. As you prepare to step out into the concrete jungle that is adulthood (or even if you’re already wading in, knee-deep), check yourself and be sure you are representing yourself as a boss.
You are a girl boss. You are stronger than you know. You are beautiful.
At the end of the day being an empowered woman is simply about keeping your head and morals high, and showing basic respect toward all people. Don’t ever be scared to step up and take control of those reins. You have confidence, strong work ethic, and you are capable of anything you want. Confidence is key to being successful and showing up for anything you want to do in life. You got this.
Also, don’t forget to be yourself. There is only one of you in all the world, and you’re fucking fabulous.
Encompass the person that you are proud to be, want to be, and want people to see. You can get there, and you will. I’m certain of it. You’ll be the boss who did it when no one thought you could. You’ll be the one we all look to with that “how does she do it?” awe. As Rumi so eloquently phrased it, “Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.”
Now, go take over the world, girl boss!
What lessons have you learned as a girl boss? Being a kickass girl boss is the epitome of cool. But there’s more than one (or five) ways to get there. Let me know in the comments below how you embrace your inner girl boss.
Digital Dandy. Hacker From Heart. Workaholic. Coding Artist. Self-made.