Five Ways to Avoid Drama In Your Life and Get The Most Out of It
Sometimes drama pops up more than you would like. It might be because your longtime friend is mad at you again or your coworker is causing some trouble. Either way, it might be time to figure out how to let go out of the drama, because there’s no reason you should have to deal with the constant stress of trying to diffuse a difficult situation or argument. Here are some tips to avoid drama in your life that may help you begin a fresh slate you’ve been looking for and hopefully, guide you to a more positive life and get the most out of it.
Unnecessary drama can affect your quality of life and happiness, as you will always find yourself in situations that wreak havoc upon your life.
In recent times, due to the prevalence of social media, the drama doesn’t even have to be face to face because people also get into conflicts online. That said, saying goodbye to drama once and for all may be hard. It might mean you have to end a friendship or stop yourself from gossiping, but eliminating these negative aspects might be your only option for moving forward with your life — unless you can prevent the drama from happening in the first place.
Drama is negative, time-wasting, and draining.
A drama-filled life can be exhausting and unproductive. Unnecessary drama can use up your energy and take away your time from the things that actually matter. Some people thrive on drama because they like the constant intrigue and excitement. In the end though, it’s all just distraction from the real world. If you want to avoid drama, you’ll need to cut ties from the toxic people who bring it into your life. But saying no to drama and not becoming a participant of it can be hard.
Drama never seems to be too far away. It seems like more and more people are hiding some nefarious intentions behind their machinations.
Yet, the messiness of the human condition is not at all new. For all of the advances that we have made socially and technologically, there are still plenty of selfish currents moving beneath the surface that are influencing what is happening around us. That is all due to the actions and choices of people. Learning how to avoid drama is an essential skill for lowering your stress and living a peaceful life.
You create your own drama in life, so, if you’re sick of life dramas, you’re doing it to yourself. Stop hitting yourself and take those steps toward a drama-free life.
Turning small issues into full-blown sources of drama is a talent possessed by many, and not one that helps much in reducing daily stress — quite the opposite. After much reflection upon the sources of drama in my own life, I crafted these five tips that you will want to use in order to make your life as drama-free as possible.
Avoid Drama Tip #1: Reconsider Your Unhealthy Relationships
It can be tough to let go of any type of relationship. But no matter how long you’ve known a person, if they’re not bringing any type of positivity into your life, you should try to let them go. How do you know if you should end a relationship? First thing’s first: Listen to your gut. You don’t have to be able to explain why, and you don’t have to be able to articulate it: Feeling bad is reason enough. Trust that feeling.
A big source of drama in our life is connected to our relationships with other human beings.
As inherently social beings, we crave human connection; therefore it is not a surprise that we put a lot of emphasis on our interactions with other people. When dealing with the people that we love (i.e. friends, family, and partners) it is very hard to identify when a relationship has taken a turn for the worse into the “unhealthy” territory. But the maintenance of unhealthy relationships is a major source of drama in many of our lives. The good news is that unless you are dealing with a parent and you are still under the age of 18, this type of drama is avoidable. Realizing which relationships in your life have become toxic is a skill that is very important to learn when cultivating happiness.
Be picky with who you surround yourself with.
Oftentimes, the drama in your life is not of your own doing or directly related to you. The people you surround yourself with, such as your friends and family, could be the cause. Thus, if you want to learn how to avoid drama in your life, you will need to assess your circle of friends and the relatives you spend most of your time with. Identify the attention seekers and drama magnets — those people who always stir up trouble whenever you are hanging out with them — and stay away from them. These are toxic friends who will often get you in trouble, hence you should cut them off if you want to get rid of drama in your life.
It’s impossible to remove all the unhealthy relationships from our lives, especially if we are related to them.
But you can consciously choose to spend time with the people that are encouraging and drama-free. So find your tribe and give them your time. Also, learn to spend time with yourself. I value my alone time. It’s used to reconnect with spiritual reflections, read, learn new things, and allows for self-care. Wouldn’t you rather spend time alone than with someone who’s dramatic and wants to drag you into it? Just because some people are fueled by drama doesn’t mean you have to attend the performance.
Don’t allow others to suck you into their drama party.
We have to choose to love some people at a distance. Not everyone is a person you want to do life with. Most people who always deal with some type of personal drama are negative and unhappy people. They want others to feel their pain. You can’t hang around the host of a drama party for very long. If you do, they’ll want you to help them decorate for the party and invite more guests! Don’t accept the invitation to the party. If you want to be a happy and upbeat kind of person, seek out people that exhibit those qualities! Learn from them and do the things that they do. Whatever you do, don’t allow the “drama dwellers” to have space in your head! Their way of thinking will get you all messed up!
Avoid Drama Tip #2: Change Your Energy
According to Psychology Today, spreading negative energy in relationships invites depression in those with whom you interact, triggers annoyance at you and increases the odds that people will want to keep distance from you. Positive energy in your interactions makes you safe and appealing to be with. Instead of bringing people down, try to always be aware of how you’re projecting your energy onto others. This may allow you to have happier relationships less drama.
A lot of drama comes from poor communication and confusion.
Eliminate it by finding the courage to say exactly what you mean. It may be harder in the moment, but it can save a lot of heartache in the long run. On the flip side, let people know that they can be honest with you. If someone thinks they need to walk on eggshells around you, they’ll likely hold things in — but they will come out eventually, if not in words, in resentful actions. Be as honest and open in all cases as possible. Quell your own negative emotions, which will in turn diffuse the negative emotions of others.
A lot of so-called “drama” in life is really due to the way you’re reacting.
People have problems, and sometimes they need to vent. Everyone vents, and you can be compassionate to all of them. It’s possible to listen to peoples’ problems as a courtesy. You don’t have to truly listen if you don’t want to, but at the very least give the impression that you are. It’s a temporary situation, and, if it’s that uncomfortable to you, you can avoid it the next time. For instance, when you smile, you immediately become the center of the room. You end up in the driver’s seat. If people come to you with drama, you can steer the conversation elsewhere. They’ll follow you because you seem more confident. If they don’t, you can confidently ignore them and walk away. No more drama.
We all have problems in our lives. And we all need to vent.
But drama occurs if we react from fear instead of responding from a place of love. So if someone is venting, allow them the freedom to do so without commenting unless they ask. This courtesy is an act of compassion to allow them to expel their emotions, as it is a temporary situation. Suppose, however, we react to their expressing their feelings. In that case, we get drawn into the other person’s drama or, worse, create drama from circumstances that were just a release of their pent-up emotions. Reacting with negativity only escalates a situation.
Choose to focus on what is positive instead of what is broken.
It is important to focus on what you are thankful for. Everyone has problems they are facing in life. We all have situations that are not ideal. But, we can choose not to focus on the negative. If you focus too much on your problems and the things that you wish were different, you lose sight of the blessings you actually have. When this happens, it’s easy to develop a victim mentality. Sometimes, people are just having a temporary hard time, and that’s okay. We all do. Patience and support can be wonderful at those times.
Avoid Drama Tip #3: Kill The Gossip
According to Psychology Today, founder of Lead from Within Lolly Daskal said, “The way we talk about others can have a tremendous moral force — not only on our character and development but within the society around us.” While gossiping may bring people together to discuss a common subject, it’s usually at the expense of others. You’ll probably have less drama in your life if you treat people the way you want to be treated.
You don’t have to always participate when other people are fighting or gossiping.
You also don’t have to give your opinion or butt in on things that don’t concern you. That is only you seeking and getting involved in unnecessary drama. Gossip is a two-way street. It’s all well and good to tell everyone about how someone else gossips, but that makes you a gossip. The listener is a gossip, too. You don’t get to project your downfalls on others to absolve yourself from responsibility. If you want to learn how to avoid drama in your life, you will need to learn when to say, “not my circus not my monkeys”. Mind your own business and let other people live their lives however they want. If something doesn’t affect you or your loved ones directly, stay out of it. Instead of getting involved in other people’s drama, focus on your own life and ways to improve it.
Talking about other people who aren’t present for the conversation is gossip, especially when information cannot be confirmed.
And if you speak about others, then you’re gossiping, and so is the listener. Rumors aren’t about truth. It’s about tearing others down to make us feel better. Just like the tin can phone, what is heard further down the line is far from being the truth. And each person who takes part adds their own twist or emotions to the hearsay. This chatter breeds drama for all parties involved, even if you only listen. So skip the grapevine and go directly to the person you want information from, or just don’t take part. Instead, make no assumptions about others. When we try to determine why anyone did or said anything without asking them directly, we stirred up drama. Why? Because we have no way of knowing another person’s thoughts unless we ask them.
Regardless of how you live your life, there will always be people that will criticize you.
Some people are very shallow and may think less of you if you don’t maintain the appearances of success that appeal to their materialistic natures. This is why countless numbers of people have fallen into financial ruins. Many people have amassed huge amounts of debt to buy things they can’t afford in an attempt to impress or gain the approval of others. Don’t let yourself fall into that trap! Follow your dreams and talk about starting that business you’ve always dreamed of. When you do, you may find many people will try to discourage you from your dream. People with no goals, dreams, or vision are unsuccessful, and they don’t want you to succeed either! Stop obsessing over what others think!
Butt out. Keep your nose out of other people’s business.
Avoid unnecessary drama by minding your own business. It is as simple as that. If it doesn’t concern you, why get involved? Yes, we are all faced with situations where we may need to step in to offer help or solve a problem. I am in not telling you not to do so, all I am saying is, pick your battles. If it involves issues between friends or colleagues, leave them to it, unless they ask for help or advice. Remembering that you always have the choice to disengage from negative conversations or situations will help you avoid unnecessary stress.
Avoid Drama Tip #4: Think About The Big Picture
When you’re struggling to deal with drama in your life, take a moment to look at the cause of drama in an objective way: does this problem or situation really warrant so much concern? Instead of getting wrapped up in the drama of a situation, can you look for a solution? It’s easy to get wrapped up in the small annoyances of everyday life, but there’s no reason that you should let a spilled morning coffee or commuter traffic ruin the rest of your day.
Instead of always taking things personally, try to view a situation objectively by removing emotion from the equation. Pausing before reacting is one of the best ways to avoid drama in your life because it gives you time to process a situation and change your perspective.
If the situations, problems, or people in your life that cause the most drama can be avoided or fixed, then focus on getting rid of them. If instead, you cannot avoid the people or things that cause drama in your life, find a way to live with them and try to put a positive spin on the situation. As humans, we tend to gravitate towards thinking about things solely from our own perspective, so it is definitely beneficial to take a step back and look at our problems from the perspective of an unbiased outsider: are our problems and concern really as dramatic as we perceive them to be? In many cases, the sources of drama in our life are less of a big deal than we make them out to be and probably won’t matter much in the long run.
I believe we can decide how happy, successful, and fulfilled we want to be if we put things in perspective.
Personal drama continually playing out in a person’s life will always keep them from reaching their dreams. It will keep them from becoming the person God meant for them to be. People are waiting to be helped you. You can become a difference maker in the world around you. Let go of the drama and go make a difference. Believe in yourself. Stand behind your decisions with confidence. It’s ok to listen to others advice but at the end of the day filter thru it and make your own decision. If you want something in life, work for it, put a plan into action and go get it. Don’t sit there waiting for someone to hand you something because you think you deserve it.
Do you honestly want to avoid unnecessary drama in your life?
Take responsibility for your actions. No one has control over you. We often give in to the negativity of others for acceptance and approval. Do not lose your personal power. You are not responsible for someone else’s feelings and they aren’t responsible for yours. Always respond to drama rather than reacting to it. Be the bigger person. Stick to a no drama policy. The way you deal with it and get rid of it is key. Do not tolerate it. Do not create it. Do not spread it. Life is about love, empathy and support. Make happiness is a habit and cultivate it.
Instead of beating around the bush and gossiping about your problems to other people, deal with the issue upfront.
When you’re direct about your concerns and issues, you may eliminate the drama right then and there. If something bothers you, and you want to talk about it, make sure you’re sharing your emotions with the person who hurt you. It’s best to just deal with the issue right away before it boils over. If you’re focused on getting ahead in your goals, you won’t even notice the drama. You’ll be so zoned in on your own future all the side-drama just fades into the background. It becomes as important to you as the suffering of all those starving children in Africa and abused pets Sarah McLachlan sings about.
Avoid Drama Tip #5: Don't Take Things Personally
The fact is, most people act the way they do no matter who they are with. If someone is a jerk, then they will be a jerk whether they are talking to a homeless person or the president of the United States. If someone is a good person, then they will be a kind to everyone — even if they don’t like a person. Once you realize that someone’s actions and words have more to do with themselves than with you, you’ll probably feel less likely to engage in that sort of drama because you can actually understand why it happens.
We sometimes get offended by what other people say or think very hard about some things that other people do.
You may experience emotional unrest thinking about what you might have done wrong for someone to do or say what they did. However, most of the time, these things aren’t because of you, and sometimes, they aren’t even about you at all. When you take things personally, you put unnecessary pressure and negativity in your mind. First and foremost, you need to investigate your thoughts, which are specific to the situation. The next step is to ask yourself if these are true. If you think they are true, how sure are you?
One reason why you take things personally is that you care so much about the approval of the person involved.
A lot of us have been conditioned from birth into thinking that you must be accepted by everyone. However, the truth is that not everyone will like you. In fact, not everyone has to, especially since you can’t control the thoughts of others. So, if you want to stop taking things personally, you need to accept that you can’t influence how people respond to you. Accept yourself, and you will be able to attract those who will accept you for who you are. With those people, you don’t have to constantly worry about what they think of you because you know that they absolutely love you.
Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. I take things personally when my ego gets hurt.
Learning that what others say and do has nothing to do with you as a person. I have been able to avoid unnecessary drama by realizing that how people respond and react to situations is a projection of their own reality. When you stop making yourself feel too important or feel like everything is about you, you will stop taking things too personally, and as a consequence, avoid unnecessary drama. The world doesn’t revolve around you. Maybe it should, but since it doesn’t, so try to make the best of all situations. People take things personally for a variety of reasons. People take things personally because they are insecure or misinterpret what someone else is saying. While you can’t control what other people do or say, you can only control how you react to it. This is especially true for what you choose to internalize and that of which you choose to disregard.
Understand the power you have. Don’t be bothered by what others think of you.
There are two common types of criticism: constructive criticism and destructive criticism. When someone says something negative about you, don’t take the bait. Sometimes, people say things to see how you’ll react. Don’t give them a reaction. Instead, continue focusing on improving your life. The best remedy to defeat people like this is to ignore them. A reaction is what feeds them, and it’s what they need to feel validated. And, your power is way too important to be used to address negativity. While the first impulse may be to defend yourself, understand that not everyone is deserving of a response. So, don’t give them that recognition. As for respectful criticism, take heed. However, never take constructive criticism personally as those providing you with it usually only want to see you become better.
No one wants constant drama in their life, no matter how much they like attention or excitement. If you find yourself dealing with a lot of unnecessary conflict and arguments lately, it might be time to take a step back. Figure out where the issues are coming from and make some adjustments, and hopefully after using a few of these tricks, you may be able to alter your life into a positive light.
Sometimes it seems like drama happens to us, and we’re powerless to remove ourselves from the cause.
Another perspective is that every time we find ourselves immersed in something that seems overwhelming, we have an opportunity to learn how to deal with challenges better. Life will always involve mini fires that we feel desperate to put out. If we can learn not to fan them, they may actually be able to light our way.
It’s your life and you deserve to live in a way that makes you happy.
If there is negativity in your life or someone who is taking up too much of your time, take action now. It doesn’t have to be difficult — just identify when someone is attention-seeking so they don’t get what they want from you. Assert yourself by setting healthy boundaries with those who are only using this momentary connection for their own selfish needs. When people love us enough to put our happiness first, we should return the favor by being generous with our attention towards them and not giving energy or money to those who would misuse it.
Unnecessary drama affects your life negatively. It leads to a lack of peace of mind, constant conflicts, and loss of friendships.
Therefore, if you want to live your life to the fullest and build healthy relationships, you will need to find ways to avoid drama in your life. It doesn’t mean that you will bottle up your feelings or let everyone walk all over you. When you learn how to avoid drama in your life, you will find healthier ways to cope with your emotions instead of overreacting to things.
So, starting today, use the above tips to learn how to get rid of unnecessary drama in your life for your peace of mind and happiness.
Drama is fun to watch on TV, but it definitely isn’t fun when it affects you in your real life. My hope is that these five tips will help you identify the biggest causes of drama in your own life, and help you figure out which ones you can eliminate for good. The result will be a happier you who can focus on the important things in life that will lead you to success. How will you live a happier more meaningful life starting today? Share your thoughts in the comments below, I’m looking forward to hearing from you 🙂
Digital Dandy. Hacker From Heart. Workaholic. Coding Artist. Self-made.